Aed jokes
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
I'm like a teddy bear. I don't like to be fucked.
Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!
Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
So, a bus crashes, killing everyone on the bus, and God feels so bad that He gives each one a wish.
The first person comes up, and she wants to be beautiful, so God makes her beautiful, and she goes into Heaven. The next person comes up, and he says, "I want to be beautiful as well." As this goes on, the last man in the back begins laughing a little, everyone becoming beautiful, until God asked the last person what they want, and he said, "I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again!" So God had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted.
I heard China aborts 25% of female babies. That's a lot of dead 3-year-old gender-affirmed girls.
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
Why did the rapper take a shower before the concert?
To WASH AWAY the haters!
If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.