Aed jokes

Okay, Gwen, I'll be offline for a while... so if anyone by my name types anything, it's a fake. The only way you know it's me is if I say one of my nicknames. Okay, so yeah, take care of my account while I'm gone. BYE!!!!

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

What's the smartest insect? A spelling bee!

Why do you not go to a gay man's BBQ?

Because the hotdogs taste like shit.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.

Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?

Because there’s a bartender in there.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”

Your hair line is curved like a moving train.

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.

When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.

Stop the cap.

I was walking to the park and a mystery killer came and shot me.

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!

What is a difference between a tree? Tree 🌲 was the day you get.