Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
Why did the catholic priest suck dick at a glory hole? because someone asked him what would he do for a klondike bar
what did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.
YOUR MAMA SO FAT WHEN SHE ASKED FOR A WATER BED THEY PUT A BLAKET OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN
Friened says, "your so drunk last night, u throu a mushroom at a migit and said grow mario grow.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
I wanted to solve Teen Suicide, so I shot up a Middle School.
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Whats the difference between a Silver Medal and a Priest?
They both came in a little behind.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the hole time
What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic
I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods and I was going to tell him nice fake airpods but it was his hearing aids
Why does a married heterosexual man want a anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside a adult book store? because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top
If a special ed kid is late to class is it ok to call me a little tardy?
I used to be a banker but I lost interest...
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)
