Aed jokes

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Yo mama so dumb, she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged.

God creating spiders.

God: "Make it have 8 legs." Angel: "Ok? Bit excessive but ok." God: "And 8 eyes." Angel: "You need to calm down and li-" God: "Give it a butt rope!"

A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

If I make a summer camp for kids with concentration problems, will it be a "Concentration Camp"?

If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

Broccoli is like anal sex.

If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?

The tree left him hanging.

People judge me because I'm quiet.

No one plans a massacre out loud.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”

Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.

Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.

What's a Mexican's favorite video game?

Borderlands.

A little boy decided to burn a house down. The father put his arm around his wife, tears in his eyes, saying, "That's arson."

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"

"I told my black friend a joke. I told him he needs to lighten up!"