How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ̈You look like a million pounds! ̈ The wife divorced him.
i have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
A child with cancer: I want to be like you when I grow up. Doctor: Oh your not going to grow up.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
man asks a women: Are you a school? women: No why? man: Oh i wanted to shoot my kid inside of you.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, But bigger ones need a crane.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
They say masterbation is better with a dead arm
Apparently I ruined that funeral
I was raised a Catholic and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate".
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for? campaign contribution to the Republican Party
What is a pedophile's favourite dating site? Kinder
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID. Son (in a happy tone): I know. Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad? Son: Well yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
