Aed jokes
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
What do super fancy music conductors wear?
A Louis baton.
A twin engine has two engines.
If one engine stops, the other will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
I have a joke about construction.
I'm still working on it.
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
What do you say to a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
Where did a chicken orphan go?
A foster home.
What's the difference between an orphan and an Egyptian?
Egyptians have mummies.
A chicken is delicious.
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.
All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
My son asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool.
If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.
It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?