Aed jokes
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
What's one thing gay people can't draw?
A straight line.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.