Aed jokes

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Who is the best at musical chairs?

The kid in the wheelchair.

I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.

Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."

What's one thing gay people can't draw?

A straight line.

Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.

They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.

I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.

Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.

Why do pedophiles never win a race?

Because they are always coming in a little behind.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

it was just a prank bro.

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.