Aed jokes
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.
One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."
"How many men does your wife have?"
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
I would like to make a Minecraft joke...
It would be too plain.
What do a man and a blonde do in bed?
Sleep!
What do you call an orphan you put into a volcano with a wheelchair?
Hot Wheels.
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
Joe Mama is so fat that when she sat on an iPhone, it turned into an iPod.
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
What do you call an ant with so much power?
A ter-mite.
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
A chair came to life and said, "I'm alive!"
I said, "Yes, I know I am."
I gave her a lift back to her crib because her car wouldn’t start.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
What do you call a sheep obsessed with cars? A Lambo.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."