I really hate waiting to die..... Its taking a lifetime
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
What's red and green and go's 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender....
Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆
Yo' Mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
What did the fish 🐟 get on his math test?
A sea plus.
You got a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you that read wrong as well.
You just went and back checked.
You reread of all that.
You have a pet wussy.
You that read wrong...
You need mental help.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, "hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Hey Siri, where is my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen! Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. ...WhAT-
How do computers get drunk
They take a screenshot
I asked a emo do they get jealous when their phone dies
Did you here about pillsbery dough boy he died of a yeast infection
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT
