Aed jokes
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Did you adopt your dog?
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
What is a mouse’s 🐭 favorite side order?
Cheese Fries 🍟😋
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What is a playground that is old?
A rotten playground.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
What's a rapper's favorite type of FOOTWEAR?
Rhyme Boots.
Where is a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.