Aed jokes

What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?

A trash can doesn't rage.

What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.

Once upon a time, the end was what? When? How? End meow.

My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!

What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?

Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

Why did the rapper climb a ladder during his performance?

He wanted to take his career to the NEXT LEVEL!

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

If a skinny person wants to gain weight, does that make them a trans fat?

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."

I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.

What is a snake's favorite drug?

Adder-all.

What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three, because it’s the normal person's height.