Aed jokes
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."
Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
a man died with an erection. the three nurses in the morgue saw this the first nurse climbs on and rides him. the second nurse dose the same the third hesitates saying "i'm on my period." the others say its ok hes dead so she rides him to. when she's done he sits up and all the nurses ask how hes alive he replies i'm good to go after the two jumpstarts and blood transfusion
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
...so I threw a dictionary at him.