Aed jokes
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. After 10 shots of vodka, the guy had, the bartender figured if he talked to him, he would tell him everything as he’s not sober.
Bartender: Hey, that’s some nice jewellery you have there. It must be expensive.
Guy: Yeah, this bracelet is made of 100% diamond. It cost me like 250 thousand dollars. What a bargain, eh?
Bartender: Seems like you make a lot of money. What do you do for a living?
Guy: I take cash from the bank and don’t give it back. It takes a lot of moral courage to rob banks to provide for my family.
Bartender: What? If that’s the case, then why do you even pay for the jewellery or this beer? You’re a hypocrite, that’s what you are, justifying robbing people as a living.
Guy: Hypocrite? You’re right. I'm living with double standards to justify my actions.
(5 seconds later)
Guy: Aye, open the cash register and give me your wallet or I will blow your fucking brains out. I fucking hate hypocrites and I will not gonna be one of em!
What is the skeleton's favorite instrument?
A xylophone.
When a person is thinking of a high number in Roblox
-smashes keyboard-
"Dinosaur killing with a 2x4, no more purple dinosaur!"
"Boiled ham" is what you call a dead Russian.
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?
A: It cracked up!
Water to his Dad, Steam: Hi, Dad, I mist you!
Steam: double-you(w). aich(h). ay(a). tee(t)?
Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?
To jot down his RAP-SODIES.
Hi, here's a joke: You're wasting your time and space, you know it... :D
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
Sultan Khan was a courtier in Akbar's court. He wanted to make his son the royal treasurer, but his cunning plans always failed.
Sultan Khan thought that Birbal was the cause of his son's misfortune, so he looked for an opportunity to get rid of Birbal. One day, Birbal was late to the emperor's court. Seeing this, Sultan Khan said, "Your Majesty, don't you think that Birbal is taking advantage of his position because he has been late these days?"
"This must be another plan to trap Birbal," said Akbar. So he decided to wait and see what Birbal would do. Akbar sat next to Suman Khan and said, "Yes, he must be punished."
Suman Khan was amazed to see his plan work this time. "From now, you should not agree to anything he says today," Akbar replied, "Agreed."
Soon, Birbal came to court. "Please spare me for being late. My wife was unwell." Akbar immediately said, "No."
Birbal was surprised. He tried again by saying, "But that's the truth. Please believe me." Again, Akbar replied, "No."
"There must be something going on," thought Birbal to himself. Then he asked, "Can we discuss important matters today?" Akbar immediately replied, "No, we will not."
"Then may I go home?" asked Birbal. Akbar said, "No, you will stay here this evening," said Akbar, enjoying himself. Birbal understood what was happening.
"Oh, so this is my game. The emperor is saying no to all my questions." He looked around and saw Suman Khan smiling, seeing him in trouble. "This must be his idea. Let me teach him a lesson."
The clever Birbal thought to Akbar, "Very well," he said. "But I have a last request. Will you please listen to me?" Akbar saw what Birbal had done.
He was very pleased and called loudly, "No, I will not listen to you." That is all Birbal said before returning to his seat. Suman Khan was stunned and angry, and Birbal had outwitted him, so he could not make his son the treasurer.