Aed jokes

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"

His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?

She screamed until her hands got tired.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.