Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke problably flew over peoples heads, but for some people it flew into their head
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr Baker was probably a baker. Mr Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr Dickinson....
People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!
Chuck Norris and Time had a race...
Result: Time is still running...
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his mother in the jaw
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.
Me telling my parents im depressed: my parents, " no, ur just a little stressed and want attention, am i right?" My depression worsoning, me: " ya ur totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...
My dad is like my depression you need a suicide letter to find him
What's a similarity Cliff Hanger and Nooses?
They both leave you Hanging
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.
A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair.so she told her sister and her sister said that aint nothing mines already eating bananas
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
what type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole:
A pedophile
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
