Aed jokes

Where does a girl with one leg work?

IHOP.

Tell a dark joke to an orphan, then hit them. They'll get the punchline right away.

What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?

How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.

A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”

How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks.

Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"

His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."

Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.

What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?

She screamed until her hands got tired.

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

How do you win an argument against a emo? kick the chair.

Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.

Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.

-JFK

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."