Aed jokes
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?
A hoe hoe hoe.
Why did people say a man had nothing? ... Because he was a-nonymous.
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"
Leo is as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music.
When I am getting bored, I hold a banana and start shaking it suddenly. It gives out juice after a few minutes. I get excited. Ohhhhhh!
Try with a cucumber.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
Every one is talking about glory holes, so I decided to look into one.
I was doing renovations on a house and found a wall with a glory hole. I was going to remodel it, but it's load bearing. I asked a gay carpenter how to fix this, and he advised that I check out the studs first to make sure they were uncut.
Eventually, I gave up and just put my nuts through the hole. Now they're walnuts.