Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite
How to you trick a catholic priest into using the glory hole at a adult bookstore? tell him it is a confessional booth
Lol. It was just a prank bro.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says “hey dad! Whatcha doin?” His father says “I’m filling your moms tank” Johnny says, “oh yeah well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because th milk man filled her up this morning.”
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries just watching a kill cam
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
Whats the worst thing to say at a funeral? "Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"
Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?
Lets make a joke on how depressing monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
What's the Difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos. The bar code on the emo kid gets longer everyday.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head
-JFK
