Aed jokes
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"
Q: What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
A: A Lamborghini isn't a very fun hobby.
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
If a master fisherman had a caddie, what would be the caddie's job title?
A master baiter.
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
Hey, wanna read here? Have a comet book.
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?
It's not hard.
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!