Aed jokes
Your dad has a huge PP.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
This account is run by a peadophile.
Every time I come straight home from work, you're in the bed asleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
Then the next thing I noticed, you just came back from the dead in no time, dummy.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
Whoever says a joke "is not a joke" should go commit bye die.
A man walks into a bar and then out.
Leo is as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere!
I made a song about a tortilla. Well, it's more of a wrap.
The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.
What's brown and hairy? A bear.
What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.