Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? A: Nothing! He was hung over.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
Most people don't get angry when you toss a salad.
Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Q:Do you know why people dont like abortion jokes? A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptyness inside.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
a stab wound
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
If a person shoot's a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful or is it murder?
What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? -- Because it has a million degrees.
Q: what does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
I got banned from the library from putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
