I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried
Vasya2003
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
Q: Do you know why black people have nightmares?
A: Because we shot the last one who had a dream.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Q: Why don't Indians play soccer?
A: Because every time they're in the corner, they open a store
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a sandy hook
Q: Why is Hitler better than Biden?
A: Because Hitler gave gas to his people for free.
Yo mama is so ugly, that her portraits hang themselves
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Yo mama is so retarded they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside she went and got a bowl
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
Q: Why did the Mexican start taking anti-anxiety pills?
A: Because he was taking them for His-panic attacks.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work
Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.