Vasya2003

I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?

The life support cord.

I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.

What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.

What do Michael Vick and John Wick have in common?

Got into deep shit when it came to dogs.

What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?

They both have very little air to breathe.

What do hockey players and cops have in common?

They both use sticks to hit something black.

What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.

Yo mama is so ugly that Bumble accused her of catfishing.

Yo mama is so ugly that her DoorDash driver took her order away.

Your hairline parts faster than Moses parting the Red Sea.

What's an Indian scammer's worst nightmare? Google Playstore points being redeemed.

What's a Jew's worst nightmare?

A frozen bank account.

They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.

I'm not sure if you have any feelings because everything about you seems very dull.

I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.

Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.

Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.

What kind of car does an Indian person drive? A Pri-yas.

Yo mama is so black that she has her own solar system.