Shower thoughts

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What do orphans and garbage have in common?

They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her?

She found another woman’s lipstick on his knuckles.

Bill Clinton and Joe Biden are on a sinking ship.

Joe Biden says we need to save the women and children. Bill Clinton says, "Screw the women and children." Joe Biden says, "Do we have that much time?"

I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.

Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.

They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.