This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory, one day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station,I told her so you can weigh yourself on the truck scale.
Shower thoughts
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday, he gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it. I asked him what was the bullseye for he said target practice
If you're in Alabama family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
What’s the best part about plowing your cousin?
-It makes your sister jealous
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
What does weed in the Carolina Panthers have in common? They both get smoked in bowls
What do alcoholics and necrophiliac have in common? They both like cracking open a cold one
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature? Tequila Mockingbird
What did the drunk emo say to the bartender? Nothing she was hung over
A blind man walks into a woman’s bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says before you tell your joke you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols, do you still want to tell that joke cowboy. He thought for a second and said not if I have to explain it five times.
A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."
Wanna play dolls? I can be Ken and you can be the box i come in
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week
I’m really good at algebra, I can replace your X without even asking Y
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number
Roses are red violets are blue. I have five fingers two of them are for you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days? I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea just put in the freezer