Adam and Eve are wondering wether they are black or white. Eve says why dont you go and ask god. So Adam goes into the garden of eden and shouts out to god are we black or white? A big booming voice bellows out YOU ARE WHAT YOU ARE. He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. How do you know asks Eve. Because he said you are what you are Adam replied. Why does that mean we are white? asked Eve. Because if we were black he would have said You is what you is.
Shower thoughts
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?...... That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor
A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”
The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”
How does a woman scare their gynecologist?
By becoming a ventriloquist
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep. There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them
What record did Obama proved during his presidency No matter how far a brotha gets in life he’ll still be in government housing
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda? She thought it was Diet Coke
What does Santa Claus in Bill Cosby have in common? They both come while you’re asleep
What do a shopping cart and a wheel chair have in common... they both carry vegetables