This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?
Stick a chicken wing up there.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
I like my women like I like my scotch:
12 years old and mixed with coke.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
Knock knock.
Who is there?
WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair? It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
How come you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to be a fruit, when you’re already a vegetable.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.