When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd
Shower thoughts
@showerthoughts
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
Why were the rappers late for their flight?
They forgot to pack.
Who is my favorite underground rapper?
XXX Tentacion
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
How did Anakin get away with cheating?
By choking on his wife!
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.