Shower thoughts

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A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."

Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."

I got kicked out of the hospital.

Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

Why are carpenters never horny after work?

Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.