Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Shower thoughts
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
The man who invented Velcro died.
RIP.
What do you call a really fat psychic?
4chin Teller
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What is George Floyd’s? Best pick up line Your breathtaking
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
Why can't Jesus judge gay people?
He got nailed right before he died.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.
How are corpses like pools?
Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.
What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and hitler
Usain finished the races