Teacher:what does the pig give us Student: bacon Teacher: very good how about the chicken? Student: meat Teacher: good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: homework
Royal
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all Beat the room for being black.
What do you call two transgender midgets having sex? A microtransaction.
Give a like if I have no friends.
I know a good airplane joke but it would probably go over your heads. The twin towers: no it won't.
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Teacher: what's 3 minus 1? Me: i don't know Teacher: how about this, you have three cakes, I take one how many cakes do you have? Me: three Teacher: If I take one cake from your three what do you have? Me: three cakes and a dead teacher. 👑
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humour jokes? It can't hit home.
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? An RC/XD
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months she woke. She asked the doctor "hows the baby?" "You had twins" the doctor replied. "Your brother named them" the woman said *oh no not my brother what did he call them?" "He called the girl Denise" "what about the boy" the woman asked the doctor said "denephew"
My grandad said I'm too reliant on technology, so I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates? If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your iq..
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "where'd you get that lovely thing?" "Africa" the parrot replied.
How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick
Did you know pidgeons die after sex? Well, at least the one I fucked did.
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