You look like something I drew with my left hand.
You're so ugly that when you were born your mother asked "how does my little treasure look", and the doctor replied, I think we should bury it immediately.
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
You’re so fat, that you only know 3 letters: KFC
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Yes I have gained weight, I have also gained more brains, do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.