I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
Simone
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
Q. What did the United Healthcare CEO say after he got shot? A. I don't know. I don't own a Ouija board.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?
A. The Jello has a higher IQ.
If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
Say what you want about Jeffery Dahmer, but he always managed to get a head.
What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?
Let us prey.
Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?
I guess he was a little deranged.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
Trump should be grateful for DEI.
How else could a mentally handicapped person be elected President?
My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.
That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.