Worst Jokes Ever
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.
Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.
I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!
What does a rich person eat? 24 karats/carrots!
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. 😏
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.