007 jokes
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Seven is a registered six-offender.
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Why was 6 afraid to go camping with 7?
Because 7 wanted to bring two knives for survival, but 6 secretly knew that 7 hated him, and didn’t have benign intentions.
Read this out loud to yourself and it’ll make sense. ;)
Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.