Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
The boy was sexually frustrated that he couldn’t have sex with girls, so he fingered his female cat.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Your mama is so nasty.
She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.
What comes after 69?
Period.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.