Today is Good Friday, so there will be no meat for us to eat. Instead we have to do what lesbians do and eat fish.
The devils number is 346 because you will be in jail.
I want to tell you a joke about 9/11 ... but I'm afraid it will be the bomb
They say we will have eternal life when Jesus is no longer coming.
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry
what did the adopted poker player say ? will you raise me
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? A: Because it will eat your "Aunts"
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions
To master puns you got to relish them first that's how I musterd it who knows maybe you will ketchup to my level
Bully : shut up and give me your money otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin Boy : haha I am not a virgin anymore Bully : haha nice joke Boy : if you don't believe then ask your sister or brother Bully : hah I don't have any sibling Boy : will just wait for 9 months then u will know
Of you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange".
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Duck walks Into a bar the duck says to the bartender hey bartender got any bread bartender says no then the duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says NO duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says no and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar duck says hey bartender got any nails bartender says no the duck says well then bartender got any bread
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.
What's worse than depression & suicide? Easy : LIVING Everyday you wish you were dead but than reality hits u in the face that your still alive and has to suffer living Pretend or not pretend we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no onw will notice :) no one ever does :) Living is the problem to everything we get depression cuz of it and so much why can't we just die :) ?
We need to stop making jokes about orphans they will tell there parents oh wait Continue
(everyone on titanic) ahhhhhhhhhhhhh the ship will sink!!!! (person washing hands) im using the sink wait your turn!!!!! (all crew members laugh) hahahhahahahahah.
3 people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free".
The greatest bond you will ever have, is the one with your conjoined twin.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
