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When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.

One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

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    • My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.

    Now she's having a breakfast.

    My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.

    Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.

    You don't need brains to be a Boss.

    When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

    The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

    The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

    Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

    Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

    Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

    We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

    Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!

    The next time you get a sack call, pick up the phone and say, "Welcome to Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is next week's sauce. How may we help you?"

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Please.

    Please who?

    Police, can you stop talking so we can get to the end of the joke.

    Lol.

    We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.

    If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.

    So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.

    Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person. Me dials 911.

    Police: What is that location?

    Me: I don't know where is dis location.

    Police: Mission failed, we will try again later.

    Me: WTH?

    Police: Ends call.

    Me: Calls hospital.

    Hospital: What is that location?

    Me: I don't know where is dis location.

    Hospital: Mission failed, we will try again later.

    Me: WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

    Hospital: Hangs up.

    Me: Calls fire dEpArTmEnT.

    Fire: No fire.

    Fire dEpArTmEnT: What is that location?

    Me: Hangs up and give up and goes home.

    Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

    Friend 2: Yup.

    Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

    Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

    Friend: Why?

    Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

    Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

    Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

    Guy: "Yup"

    Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

    Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

    Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

    He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

    We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)