Ubereats jokes

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.

Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.