Turtle Soup jokes

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

Right where you left it.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common? They both choke on plastic.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn't fit in the pot.

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.