Their jokes
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
What do cheetahs wear to work?
They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I'm not.
What is the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag is a big plus!
Your mamma's so fat, the aliens call her their mother ship!
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
I once went to the bar for a pint, but the strippers there didn't have that much breast milk.
A person had a child named Bl, another named Es, and one named S. The next was named You. They were a very unholy family.
Their children were shamed upon because their names spell out "Bless you."
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.