The jokes
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
If you have an emo kid army, they'll kill themselves before they get to the field.
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.
A retarded kid sees a murderer chopping up his latest victim with a saw. The retarded kid yells, "Seesaw!" because he sees a saw.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"
What is the difference between Putin and an onion?
Nobody cries because of a cut Putin.
"My parents are dead, lol," said the orphan.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
True fact: School shooters aren’t dangerous to you if you're the school shooter.
There's this smart way to sneak a calculator into school. I've heard of it. You take the calculator, put it in a gun magazine, put the magazine in the gun, and bring the gun to school!
What's the difference between Putin and Hitler? I don’t know, you tell me.
What is the most favorite coffee brand of feminists? Taster's Choice!