The jokes
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
How did the Chinese chicken cross the road?
He wok-ed.
I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
Wanna hear a joke? Just look in the mirror, the joke's there!
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.