The jokes
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike. There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
What does it mean when a man sits on a boulder instead of on the ground?
A bolder choice.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument? The exylo-bone!
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.