The jokes
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"
He didn't realize what was about to happen.
"That's what she said!"
What was blue and black and doesn't like to have sex... The little girl in my trunk.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.
I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.