The jokes

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what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

  • 1

    • Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

    He won't separate the whites from the colors...

    So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

    "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

    And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

    The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

    So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

  • 1

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To get to the idiot's house.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    The chicken.

    There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

  • 0

    • A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

    "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

    "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

  • 1

    • A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

    Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

    So, there were kids in the bus, and half of them were white, and the other half was black.

    All the kids wanted to sit at the back, so the bus driver said to all the kids, "Stop fighting. From now on, everyone is now green." So, the bus driver said to all the kids, "Dark green go to the front, and light green at the back."

    A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”