The jokes

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HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

What did the 90s rocker Space Engineer in multiplayer Miner yell at the Troll stealing his stuff?

"Hey! give me my Nickelback!"

An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."

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    • Joker: How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?

    Person: Because he felt it in his bones?

    Joker: He read the weather forecast, you f*cking idiot.

    The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

    I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.

    Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now.

    But the vet charged me six quid.

    At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

    Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

    Teacher: What?

    Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

    Why did the toad cross the road?

    To show his girlfriend he had guts.

    What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?

    One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.

    One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."

    What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

    They are all locked in the Priest's basement.