The jokes
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...
Your face!
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
PP in the poo poo.
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
My sister was at Sixth Street and someone stepped on her toes and she bled, so she called the police! XD
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?
Answer: Attorney General William Barr!
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
I lost my luggage at an airport once. I sued the airline, but I lost the case...
The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.
Stephen Hawking died because he was too far away from the Wi-Fi router.