The jokes
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
I am the joke.
Why did the skeleton go to jail?
Because he was bad to the bone!
A missionary was caught by cannibals. He was tied up and thrown into a big pot. The cannibals were chopping up vegetables and throwing them into the pot with the missionary. When they lit the fire under the pot, the missionary said, "You can't stew me. I'm a friar."
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!