The jokes
What's the difference between a painting and Jesus?
A painting only needs one nail.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
"Gwen, this was a fake look in the comments!"
Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?
Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at funerals.
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
What's the difference between my mum and my dad?
My mum stayed.
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
When the imposter is sus! 😳
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A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."
People always said that if you killed a murderer, there would be the same number of murderers. Why stop at one?
This is how my mom always threatens me: "I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too." That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.