The jokes
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
The world's first microwaves.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
What do you call multiple quintuplets that look the same?
Naruto's mom.
Why do orphans have water with cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What happened to the dog that crossed the road?
OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.
Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!
Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.
What is the definition of Hell, a city in the state of Michigan?
Sometimes my battery life has the same recognition as me :(
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"