The jokes

Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.

Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.

What does a gorilla attorney study?

The law of the jungle.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A. Ask your mother.

How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?

She was ape-ril!

I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.

My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.

There used to be two, but now it’s just a sensitive topic.

Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?

Because women don't have rights.

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"

Some girls are like rocks.

You skip the flat ones.

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!

Little Johnny's dad was driving him to school when they came up on a couple in a convertible. It was apparent that they were arguing. You could then see the woman pull out a knife. Seconds later, his dad saw a penis land in the windshield. Worried little Johnny will see it, he quickly turned on the wipers and brushed it off.

"What was that, Dad?" asked lil Johnny. "Oh, just a bug," said his father. With a confused look on lil Johnny's face, he then says, "That bug sure had a big dick, didn't he?"