Social norms jokes
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
You do 1 line, you're not a crackhead. You drink 1 beer, you're not an alcoholic. But I murder 1 person...
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Nah c'mon guys, we don't let jokes like this fly around here.
Priests are called father because it would be suspicious to call him daddy.
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
Can orphans go to a family restaurant?
What is a threesome with 3 guys?
Gay sex and a witness.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."