So jokes
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Lay on the bed, So I can fuck you.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.
Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!