So jokes

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.

Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.

"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"

Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?

Because they are really good at saving.

Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Yo mama's so fat that she used a telephone pole as a tampon.

Why do orphans play GTA5 so much?

So they could be wanted.

My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.

Why did my mother buy me a Honda? She knows I can't move, so she pushed my wheelchair with me in it into the ocean. I survived just by a second, but a shark got my wheelchair, fucking bitch.

Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.

You're so poor you wash paper plates.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Yo mama so skinny, she choked on a SINGLE STRAND OF SPAGHETTI!

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?