Self-will jokes

Why do most orphans cook for themselves?

They don't have a home cook.

What's an orphan's favorite flower?

A self-raising flower.

What flour do you buy an orphan?

Self-raising flour.

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

What flour do orphans use?

Self-raising flour.

What is an orphan's dad's job?

A magician because he makes himself disappear.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.

When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"

I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."

Like this,

it will give you good luck. See for yourself!

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.

It showed a picture of myself.

My handicapped friend was getting bullied. I said, "Just stand up for yourself!"

Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.

To anyone suffering from low self esteem:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY

What type of flower do you give an orphan?

A self-raising [flour].

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.

How did Jesus become self-sovereign?

He screws himself and becomes his own creator.

Why do people want their grass to be emo?

So the grass will cut itself.

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo.

So it can cut itself.