My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
