Richter Scale jokes
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
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You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number" You're so fat that an oragami crane has less folds than you. You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat people shout out "taxi" You're so fat, the photo I took of you last christmas is still printing.
You're so fat that when you want to iron your pants, you have to go out to your driveway. … Read more