Richter Scale jokes

One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.