Return Policy jokes

— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?

— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said:

"F*ck off! You won’t bring it back."

A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"

"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?

Badass Toilet Paper Company: We don't take shit off of anyone.

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

Politics.

Labor party.

When people are ready to die for their country:

Trust the Unionist Party.

Better than Reform.

What is the difference between the human rights act of a home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk?