Rental jokes

Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.

It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.

The parentless child stood as her orphanage was blown up by a kamikaze I had rented.

I have no problem with prostitution.

It's like an Air BnB for your dick.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?

Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.

You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.