Priest's jokes
We are coming out with a Whopper that is similar to a priest because it also has its meat between 5-year-old buns.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.
They should have ducked.
What's the difference between a priest and customer service?
At least you can call customer service and tell them how your experience was.
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
What do you call a priest that likes juice?
A Capriest Sun.
"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.
The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.
"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"
"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.
The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.
"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.
What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
The existence of the word "priest" implies the existence of "prier" and "pri".
The priest is gay.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
One day a local pastor was visiting the home of some parishioners who had a teenage son. The parents were worried about what career their son would choose, so the pastor said he had a simple test that could predict what would become of him.
He would put three objects on a table and let the young man choose whichever one he wanted to have: a Bible, a wallet, and a bottle of scotch. If the boy chose the Bible, he would probably become a priest; if he chose the wallet, he'd be a banker; and if he chose the bottle, he'd become a worthless bum.
So the parents called their son into the room, and the pastor told him he could have whichever object he wished. When the boy promptly picked up all three, the pastor cried out, "Heaven forbid! He's going to be a Jesuit!"
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns!
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"